


Love Will Tear Us Apart, Again.

by smashing_anarchist_poet



Category: Mission: Impossible (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Lots and lots of whump, M/M, Whump, gets very intense, oh boy I haven't wrote fanfiction in 4 years but I put a lot of effort into this, poor Benji
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-07
Updated: 2018-12-07
Packaged: 2019-09-13 13:18:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16893348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smashing_anarchist_poet/pseuds/smashing_anarchist_poet
Summary: The IMF recive an anonymous tip off regarding an impending bomb explosion at The Shard, London's tallest building. Their mission - tasked to Ethan and Benji is simple, deactivate the bomb. Sounds simple, nothing ever really goes strictly to plan with the IMF though does it?





	1. Your Mission, Should You Choose To Accept It.

**Author's Note:**

> You can decide if you think Ethan and Benji are romantically involved in this story, even if you think they're just friends, there's no doubt that they love each other. I chose the title because 1. I love Joy Divsion and 2. In this story, his love for Ethan may cause Benji to be literally torn apart. This is the first fan fiction I have ever published, exciting eh? I hope you enjoy it...

Their mission was simple enough but there was a lot at stake. It was imperative that they succeeded, or a lot of innocent people would be hurt. Due to an anonymous tip, the IMF had grimly discovered that some of the last remaining members of The Syndicate had were on track to carrying out yet another plan to commit mass murder. These remaining members, of which Benji described as “a pack of scavenging hyenas that simply won’t give up”, had planted a bomb inside The Shard, London’s tallest building. Their aim was to cause as much merciless killing without regard for who would get caught in the blast. Although they couldn’t get their hands on any nuclear weapons, the bomb they had planted was large enough and placed in just the right place that the whole building would be brought down. The Syndicate knew a disaster like that would cause chaos, shaking people from every corner of the earth to their very cores. So, the IMF knew the bomb must not be detonated under any circumstances.  
Working, hunched over his laptop in their safe house with fingers dancing over keys at such a pace the sound became a continuous buzz, it hadn’t taken long for Benji to work out how to deactivate the bomb. The technician had also discovered that it could only be deactivated from an abandoned soap factory, a few miles south of where him and Ethan were situated. Ethan’s heart swelled with pride when Benji disclosed this information to him of which had taken a remarkably short amount of time for the dedicated younger agent to uncover. Within minutes of knowing this information, the duo were on their way. 

Outside the eerily quiet building they stood for a moment. Listening. knowing full well they would have to approach quietly as it was almost inevitable that they wouldn’t be alone. With trembling white knuckles, Benji gripped his handgun tightly, flashing a look back to the car. Ethan could sense his reluctance and showed him a reassuring smile. There was only one way into the building, any other windows or doors had been firmly boarded off to deter adventurous kids and drug dealers from taking advantage of the place. Ethan took the lead, Benji behind him, prepared to protect him if anybody appeared from behind them. Deep within the old building and up a flight of stairs in a room Ethan assumed to be a control room were the only active pieces of tech in the building. On one side of the room was a large window, overseeing the factory floor below. The door was locked but they could see inside the room through a small window upon it. Benji used his phone to wirelessly unlock the door, the same technique he used in the opera house, when he first encountered The Syndicate. In the room, Ethan noted that there were footprints in the dusty floor but none leading to the neighbouring rooms, only footprints going back the way they came. Something wasn’t quite right… surely The Syndicate wouldn’t leave the only piece of tech that could prevent their plan from being thwarted unguarded. Choosing to remain on guard but not to dwell on the lack of… anything from preventing them from deactivating the bomb, Ethan nodded to Benji who got to work, with limited time trickling away, what else could they do?

Flinching suddenly away from his work, Benji looked to Ethan mouthing “Did you hear that?” Ethan cocked his head slightly, furrowing his brow. He couldn’t hear anything. “It was back where we came from” Benji whispered. Ethan nodded, trusting what Benji had heard and retreated back out of the room. With bated breath and wide eyes, Benji stared at Ethan’s back as he disappeared from the room. Once he was outside the room and far enough away from the door Benji leapt up, nearly slipping over in his rush and yanked the door closed, hearing it lock with a click. Ethan snapped around and tried to open the door, rattling the handle manically. From the other side of the glass Benji glared at him, sadness evident in his eyes. “What’s going on, Benji!?” Ethan’s piercing eyes searched the agent’s face.  
“Ethan, there’s another bomb, it’s programmed to go off if the one in The Shard gets deactivated… it’s… in this room” Benji swallowed, offering a sad smile that came across as more of a grimace. “Can you deactivate it?” Ethan already thought he knew the answer to his question. “No. The bomb in here can only be deactivated by whoever has the controls, god knows where, even if there was some miraculous way of deactivating it, they can reactivate it in seconds.” Benji stepped closer to the door “In London, that bomb will go off, If I leave here, people will die, Ethan. Lots of people. I can’t let that happen.” “Then tell me what to do, Benji” Ethan’s hands balled into fists. “Ethan, I can’t lose you either, so go. Get to safety, please”.

Ethan gritted his teeth, banging his fists on the door, causing Benji to flinch away slightly. “No, Benji, you knew this was going to happen, you should have told me, it should be me in there!” he spat out, backing up and running into the door, trying to break it down. He retreated back and tried again, and again, only stopping when he felt someplace in his shoulder protest painfully. Benji smiled and choked back a tear, placing his hand on the small window. Shakily, Ethan mirrored his action, pressing his palm to the glass, the only thing separating them from touching. Benji opened his mouth to tell Ethan something he had been meaning to say for a long time but stopped himself, not wanting to make it any harder for his partner. “Go” He whispered instead. “I’ve got a small plan, increases the chance I might survive, so, come back for me when the dust has cleared, yeah? But there’s not long now so please, go.”

Benji turned back to the computers, wires and other complex devices in the room. There were two minutes to go. He didn’t think that he could survive but telling Ethan a white lie like that convinced him to leave so that was okay. He finished the necessary computer work, all was left to do now was to cut a wire and it would be all over. Shakily, he held a pair of pliers open over the wire scrunching his nose and narrowing his eyes. Benji glanced quickly at the chair he was using earlier in his peripheral vision then back again. There were 30 seconds remaining. “I’m an agent, it’s my duty” he thought to himself “I will save countless lives and most of all Ethan will be safe” he tried to reassure himself. Benji didn’t want to die. 

Hissing a curse under his breath the tech quickly scrambled to the chair, gripping the back of it unnecessarily tightly, hoping the grip would help to ground him, alleviating some stress. It didn’t. He picked it up, quickly turning to the large window overseeing the factory floor and hurled it through with all his strength. The whole window shattered but he didn’t wait to see, he just snapped back to the control panel and cut the wire.


	2. Surely No One Could Survive That?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was turning out to be the worst day of Ethan's life. There was no way Benji could have survived, could he?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed the last chapter, if that left you feeling scared for Benji then I'm sorry but things are about to get worse.

Then came the explosion. The kind that Ethan knew would leave his ears ringing for days despite being a safe enough distance away from the chaos. Sure, it was loud, but the noise stuck with him more knowing that Benji was at the heart of it. The older agent had felt sick to his stomach as soon as Benji had told him that the bomb couldn’t be deactivated, at that point he didn’t think he could possibly feel worse. He was wrong.

Ethan grabbed his phone, cursing as he nearly dropped it and pressed the emergency call button, quickly informing the emergency services of his whereabouts and that his friend was caught in a blast there. Even if Benji wasn’t alive, Ethan hoped that at least his body could be recovered.

~

Back In the shell of what was once a bustling factory, Benji had cut the wire. As soon as it was firmly severed, he had leapt away, without a second of hesitation. Immediately throwing himself head first out of the shattered window. The man could not care if he ended up breaking his back or skull, he had a better chance of surviving that than being torn to shreds by shrapnel. When it came to an explosion like this, he knew that shrapnel was the killer. Benji prepared himself slightly for this by wearing a bulletproof vest under his shirt, it should help to some degree, alas, it wasn’t a particularly heavy duty one or Ethan would have questioned it. Although near the ground, he was still in the air when the force of the blast propelled him forward and his head jolted backwards, he didn’t even have time to register it. Arms instinctively flailed through the air, doing nothing to stop his body from colliding with what appeared to be an old furnace at tremendous force. With the last of his energy, Benji forced himself to roll underneath the machinery where he lay flat on his face, facing away from the explosion. This way hopefully reduced the likelihood of shrapnel hitting him. He quickly fell unconscious, his injuries and thick tendrils of smoke lulling him to sleep. He didn’t know if he would wake up but there was nothing he could do.

The emergency services, although it seemed like forever to Ethan were quick to arrive on the scene. Promptly, the fire crew began putting the fire out with Ethan staring at the orangey glow praying that Benji would stumble from the rubble. Paramedics and the police tried asking questions that fell on empty ears as Ethan remained still, unblinking at the mess. As soon as the fire was out enough that it wasn’t too ridiculous to attempt to go inside and with no one watching him, Ethan leapt to his feet. A blanket he hadn’t even registered being placed around his shoulders fell to the floor and he ran to the building. He was stopped short in his tracks by two burly police officers, straining manically in their grip seemed useless. “Let me go!” Ethan spat through gritted teeth, “He told me to come back for him, I must go back for him!” “Sir, please, you need to calm down, we have a team searching for your friend.” One of the officers directed at him, Ethan could see the sympathy in the man’s eyes but didn’t care.  
“No, you don’t understand” Ethan choked out. “It should have been me in there!” Ethan trailed off as his eyes focused on a group of firemen dashing out of the building, the last one carrying a body over her shoulder. Ethan’s eyes widened, and he choked back a sob.

“Benji…”


	3. Comfortably Numb

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will Benji survive? Ethan wouldn't dream of leaving his side until he's safe.

“He’s not breathing” a paramedic confirmed, “He’s inhaled a lot of smoke”. After a worryingly long pause, a second paramedic called “He’s got a pulse! it’s weak. We have to act quickly.” The paramedics began using a type of oxygen mask to force oxygen into Benji’s lungs. Ethan let out a breath he didn’t even know he had been holding, running his hands through his hair quickly. He thought Benji was dead. Despite that not being the case, the pair were not out of hell yet as anything could be wrong with Benji, broken bones, internal bleeding, brain damage, it could still be too late, he might not even breathe on his own again for all Ethan knew. He tried to chase away those thoughts and watched as the paramedics worked on his closest friend in the Ambulance who lay pale and unmoving. Ethan focused on Benji’s face for other than a cut on his chin and above his eyebrow, Ethan could convince himself that Benji was just sleeping. Ethan’s phone buzzed. It was a message from Luther, informing him that the bomb in London had been successfully disarmed and two suspects had been caught. 

Once at the hospital, Benji was whisked away to resus and Ethan forced into waiting outside, finding himself yet again staring helplessly at his friend through the window in a door. Minutes trickled into hours and before he knew it, half a day was gone. Ethan had found himself in the relative’s room while Benji was in surgery, having sorted out what happened and who they were with the police and informing the rest of the team on the situation. All he could do now was wait. A doctor appeared at the door, Ethan could tell by the man’s demeanour, before a word was uttered between them that it was good news. ‘Your friend should live, Mr. Hunt.’ The doctor told him. “He’s been moved to ICU, you can go and see him there. He’s still unconscious… he should come round when he’s ready” There was nothing that Ethan could do to stop the grin that broke across his face, even if he wanted too. A thank you was firmly directed at the doctor as Ethan left the room.

Ethan slipped quietly into Benji’s room and made his way to the bed, setting himself down in the chair beside the bed with an exasperated sigh. Slipping his hand into Benji’s own, he lightly brushed his thumb over the back of the man’s limp hand, then tightened his grip slightly, not wanting to let Benji go again. Despite squeezing his eyes shut, Ethan could not help the few tears that escaped from them, with a sharp sniff he tried to not let his emotions take over. 

~

Ethan had refused to leave the hospital since the incident, two days ago. Constantly keeping an eye on Benji like he was his guardian angel, watching his friend’s chest shakily rise and fall accompanied by a harsh rasping sound strained through his oxygen mask as he breathed, burdened by the smoke damage. Apart from wires measuring his vitals, Benji’s chest was bare, mottled by colourful bruises that seemed to be getting darker the longer Ethan stared at them. A dressing covered a deep wound caused by a twisted piece of metal that dug into Benji’s side where the vest couldn’t protect him. Benji also had sustained a broken a collarbone and a few broken ribs. Ethan hoped he couldn’t feel any pain. Once again, Benji’s hand was clutched in Ethan’s, this time however, when Ethan squeezed, Benji squeezed back. Ethan leaned closer over Benji, releasing his hand to gently caress his injured friend’s cheek. “Benji?” Ethan tentatively questioned to which a small groan came in the form of a reply. Benji’s eyes – a gorgeous mixture of browns, blues and even a dash of green opened slightly. Upon seeing Ethan hovering over him, Benji couldn’t help himself offering a weak smile, the kind that made the skin around his eyes crinkle lovingly. He slowly raised his hand to remove the oxygen mask so he could talk to Ethan but the older agent stopped him, taking that hand in his own, lacing their fingers. “keep the mask on Benj, you need it”. Benji nodded, closing his eyes again as he felt a wave of tiredness slowly pulsate through his being. “you saved everyone… just please for god sake Benji… don’t try anything like that again” Ethan told him, unsure if Benji even heard him as he drifted off.

A few days later and in-between sleeping, Benji was back to his usual talkative self. The doctors told Ethan that he was recovering remarkably well. Despite that, Benji still needed a cannula to help breathe easily and was still confined to the bed - to avoid the risk of tearing his stiches. Not that he could attempt to move much in his lethargic state anyway. Ethan was still there, by his side with no intention of moving though at this point unable to prevent himself from slouching and straining his eyes to stay awake. 

Eventually at one point when Benji was awake he turned to Ethan, muttering with concern “when was the last time you slept?”. Ethan brushed him off with a light laugh then noticed the stern but tired look on Benji's face. “Look.” Benji stated, pausing for a moment to consider his options “If you don't go somewhere and get some much-deserved rest, I’ll press the call button and tell the nurse you are bothering me”. “Honestly I’m fine' Ethan smiled, reaching out to tenderly stroke Benji's soft hair. Benji exhaled deeply, knowing there was no point in arguing. He couldn't help leaning into Ethan’s touch, a touch that distracted him from the otherwise unpleasant dull pain he was in. “Fine, Ethan. Your only other option is to come up here with me.” Without waiting for an answer, Benji shakily hoisted himself to the edge of the bed scrunching up his nose slightly in determination, patting the space beside him. Ethan cocked his head to one side, giving Benji a comical look. Benji chuckled then bit his lip “Don’t make me laugh, Ethan, you bastard. It hurts.” Ethan chuckled then tugged his shoes and jacket off then clambered onto the bed beside Benji, abruptly realising how tired he was. He resumed stroking Benji’s hair whose eyes began to flutter closed at the lulling sensation and the warm body beside him. “Benji?” Ethan murmured to which Benji responded with an prompt “mmh?”, “I think The Syndicate were just as invested, if not more invested in getting the bomb to go off at the factory than the one in London… because they knew that we would willingly sacrifice our lives to save others and our deaths would mean just as much if not more to them than killing 1000s more people.” Ethan hesitated, carefully thinking out his words “They also know how much you mean to me… Perhaps, Benji, they knew that you would try and do what you did.” Benji paused for a moment, taking in Ethan’s words. “yeah, but that doesn’t matter because we’re both alive, so they failed. Sucks to be them.” Benji took the hand of Ethan’s which wasn’t currently stroking his hair in his own. “Benji, just tell me something, was it really worth it?”, Smiling warmly up at Ethan Benji replied, “we’re alive and most of all to me, you are, so of course it was worth it.” Ethan smiled and pressed a kiss to the top of Benji’s head “Just please, don’t try anything like that again.” Ethan mumbled into Benji’s hair, knowing Benji heard him this time. Ethan could feel himself beginning to fall asleep. Benji placed his head on Ethan’s shoulder, beaming sluggishly up at him then he too dozed off once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed my fic! I'm an absolute sucker for fluff and whump, I needed plenty of that to reconcile for all the hurt I put Benji through. I put a lot of effort into this, even getting myself stressed with what I was putting Benji through. Bloody hell! I must have read through it 5 times to try and get it right. This really was the first fan fic I have wrote in 4 years, I'll see you with another one in another 4! Thank you!


End file.
